Grease Monkey

previously published in Weed World, Issue 127
Download PDF: Weed World – Issue 127 – Grease Monkey

Grown by: Mendo Dope
Processed by: Mr. Bond420

Going big is not always the key to long lasting success, but sometimes, it is the perfect expression of long years of dedication, sacrifice, and faith. At the Emerald Cup, California’s premier outdoor cannabis cup, hundreds of the finest growers and processors vie for a few coveted spots indicating they are at the top of their game. Competition is fierce and unyielding. This year, with determination and innovation, Mendo Dope and Mr. Bond 420 accepted the challenge and created a winning larger-than-life specimen called Grease Monkey Bubble Hash and it is truly awesome. Believing less is more, Mendo Dope (IG:@mendodope) grows massive plants without the use of pesticides and bottled nutrients. Known for their larger than life cannabis plants, the Mendo Dope siblings, Old E and Bleezy, are true growers of the big trees. Besides their obvious cannabis growing prowess, they package their earnest cannabis activism in a deep and expansive sound that represents the growers, processors, and patients of the cannabis movement. They make Cannabis Culture music; blending hip hop, rock and reggae to communicate their unique message of cannabis edutainment. Their music boasts a bombastic sound just as enormous as the plants they love to cultivate. Listening to Mendo Dope, I am immersed in their canna-reality. Cannabis is integral to the brothers’ existence; as evident from the track lists of their 20+ albums.

For 10 years, they’ve been “growing and flowing.”

“My passion is ganja
This is a weed dedication
For those who struggle to cope
And who really need medication”
– Old E, Follow Me, “Live in the Garden”

Mendo Dope has amassed a massive following of growers who aspire to grow huge yielding plants in an organic and sustainable fashion. Through videos, Mendo Dope has solidified their reputation as dedicated farmers who want nothing more than to advance cannabis for the benefit of all people. Along their journey, the brothers have accumulated several firsts including producing the world’s first studio album recorded entirely in a homegrown outdoor cannabis garden. In 2016, they scored another first; achieving 3rd place along with Mr. Bond 420 (IG:@mrbond420) for Grease Monkey Bubble Hash at The Emerald Cup. Mr. Bond 420, who lives in Rhode Island, has been a dedicated member of the group’s street team and over the course of a few years, has developed a close relationship with the grower-musicians. With more than 10 years of experience cultivating and processing cannabis, Mr. Bond 420 has been on the podium several times including:

2015 Dab-a-Doo Barcelona Spain 1st place Nonsolvent
2015 Cannabis Allstars 1st place Best Nonsolvent
2016 Maine Secret Cup Best Nonsolvent
2016 Cannabis Allstars 1st place Best Nonsolvent

I have smoked fantastic herb grown by Mendo Dope and I am a huge fan of their music, so I am honored when Mendo Dope and Mr. Bond 420 accept my offer to write about their award-winning bubble hash.

Bred by Exotic Genetix (IG:@exotic_genetix_mike), Grease Monkey is a Gorilla Glue #4 x Cookies-n-Cream cross which grew to 14 feet in diameter and 9.5 feet tall in Mendo Dope’s lush garden. Grown in the glorious full sun blanketing Mendocino County and in the midst of the booming non-stop music, Grease Monkey was a heavy yielding Indica with light bright green leaves, and chunky, tight buds. One of the last plants to finish, the Grease Monkey plant was happy and easy to grow, exhibiting strong, and vigorous growth.

At the peak of resin production, buds were hand-picked and immediately fresh frozen. After washing the nugs with love and care, Mr. Bond 420 microplaned the sticky resin. Though freeze dryers are becoming quite the rage in the hashmaking community, but Mr. Bond 420 took an old school approach; opting to air dry it in Mendo Dope’s perfectly climate and humidity controlled Crystal Cave. After thoroughly drying, the Hashish was cold cured in the freezer for a month.

On a pouring afternoon, right before leaving to go back east, Mr. Bond 420 along with Mendo Dope, meet me outside the airport to deliver their precious cargo and to tell me about the Hashish. Once safely in the dry confines of my home, I am eager to test it out, but I do not have much and I my upcoming trip to New York seems like a better environment to experience this lusciousness. Two weeks later, I am standing on 49th Street in the midst of the Times Square frenzy. Before I can become too overwhelmed, I head inside a nondescript building and head up to the Penthouse Floor and into a very quiet and plush world.

I am in Quad Studios, a legendary music studio with more than 30 years of recording hits and famous for clients such as Tupac, Rihanna, Coldplay, Whitney Houston, Jay-Z, Bob Dylan and many others. Stepping into the beautiful wood paneled room, I feel a sense of awe thinking of my favorite rapper, Biggie Smalls, and all of the other musicians who have blessed the space with their inspired creations.

Speaking of inspiration, I am ready for a few serious dabs. Our hosts, Always Goody (IG: @alwaysgoody), behind the scenes photographer, and Droopy Morales, music industry veteran, and friend Doc-G (IG:@nycconnoisseur87), his fiancee Marissa (IG:@greenervibes27) and I are joined by my friend Billy of Golden State Labs (IG: @golden_state_labs) and we are keen to smoke some LOUD. I pull out copious amounts of hash rosin and live resin processed by Billy using flowers from my personal rooftop garden. I pull out the Hashish last. Billy grins appreciatively when I tell him what is in store for us. I slowly open the small container and peer at the small, amber colored beads of resin; gleaming like champagne diamonds. The aroma of vanilla and peanut butter elicit memories of sweet wafers and cookies I used to steal from my grandmother’s pantry. The Hashish is darker than I expect; probably due to the Mendo Dope boys taking the plant to its full potential, rather than cutting early to get the lightest Hashish possible. I appreciate their patience as I prefer Hashish from fully mature plants. Sniffing deeply, the soft, cake like smell gives way to fuel and wet earth. These oily morsels are begging to be smoked.

I torch the quartz banger and swivel around marveling at my well appointed surroundings. It’s like being in a chill 90s video, but instead of unending bottles of bubbly, we have many jars of dank concentrates unseen in these parts. The Grease Monkey Bubble Hash scoops easily, sitting patiently on my dabber while I wait for the banger to cool. In the past I have scoffed at people being too attached to their preferred texture of concentrate. However, I love these sleek and smooth little grease balls; cannabis roe not made for just anyone. As the rig cools, I drop the sacs of goodness on the quartz and instantly the bubble action is followed by berry sweetness and then pure gas. The mouthfeel is full and satisfying. Painting my mouth softly with the flavor of cherry cheesecake, the Hashish bubbles to near nothing and I let out a smooth and easy breath. I take a few cool breaths to clear my palate, but the flavor of berries returns and lingers. Simply delicious. I love when dabbing makes me feel like I am eating.

I take another dab and all of the stresses of being back home with my parents begin to fade away. Billy takes a few dabs and agrees that the Grease Monkey is indeed phenomenal. I have found that each processor usually holds a strong preference for his/her type of concentrate. Therefore I am especially pleased that Billy, a staunch BHO processor, especially enjoys this icewax. Fifteen minutes later, I feel a surge of joy shoot through me and I somehow know intuitively that our success is but an inevitability for all of us. Mendo Dope and their message of ganja love will be perfect for this world famous studio. I am suddenly very confident. I feel naturally in sync with the flow of life and just as the rose doesn’t strain to become a beautiful flower, neither do I feel a strain to be exceptionally gregarious or exemplary. Anxiety is usually my unwelcome shadow, but I feel not trace of that. I literally feel on top of the world. I chatter animatedly about the cannabis wonders of the West Coast while I lament the inevitable change of my beloved, and now uber popular, Brooklyn here on the East Coast. Billy and I keep the room laughing as we trade stories and keep dabbing everyone out. I am brimming with near euphoria and my eyes shine brightly even after a few dabs. Upon hearing about a wrap around balcony, I step outside to chilly temps, and a blinding scene. It is Christmastime and the lights of 42nd Street, customarily garish, blare even more insanely as huge advertisements slam into my face. Initially taken aback, I catch my breath and watch with interest as Time Square pulses beneath me like one of Bleezy’s original bass lines. This cacophony is the sound of New York and it is found nowhere else. As the flurry of activity continues, I stand up on a large crate, affording myself an even better view and feel compelled to shout out my name. The sound is quickly lost in the wind, but in my ears, it rings over and over.

A few days later, at the turn of the year, I am entertaining at a posh rooftop Midtown restaurant on 5th Avenue. It’s my yearly birthday brunch and having enjoyed several deep and flavorful vape pulls of the assuring and encouraging Grease Monkey Bubble Hash, I have been sashaying around the chic venue like I own the place. I remark to Nicholas that though I do not usually buy Hashish, I may have to buy this Hashish for my headstash. Self-doubt seems the farthest from my mind as I relish in the birthday attention and adoration. After a long and luxurious meal of sumptuous fare, I step out onto the patio to digest, and wince at the brisk wind that slides by. At this moment, the sky is crystal clear and the air is crisp. Before me stands the majestic Empire State Building; it’s silhouette bisecting the landscape. Pulling slowly on my vapor pen, I turn to take in the rest of the swanky rooftop. Large geodesic plastic spheres dominate the space. I walk into one and am enveloped in perfectly warmed air. Able to seat 11 comfortably, the dome literally has me in a fat bubble and I am about to take advantage of it. Save for my husband, no one else is up here and the stillness is eerie. This high up, we are far removed from the hustle and bustle of the New York City streets and it feels like we are sitting on top of the world; perched above the ‘trees’ of the concrete jungle. I repack my vape pen and pull steadily, smiling at the huge cloud of smoke of sweetness that billows out; and I imagine I am a candy dragon. Instead of dissipating, the smoke collects at the top of the dome like a heavy nimbus cloud. Another drag and my mouth is filled with the delicious taste of fresh baked muffins and the acrid aftertaste of diesel. Nicholas takes a puff and remarks how much the flavor of OG Kush comes through as the smokes slithers down his throat. The shared parentage of Chemdawg is probably to blame for that flavor crossover. Turning on my phone, the mellow first verses of Smoke One from their “Live in the Garden” DVD breaks the quiet atmosphere.

“Let the smoke fill up the room…Let the smoke fill up the room…”

The once clear dome is now opaque as hash vapor has filled up the room. The blue smoke makes the clear blue sky appear as a hazy periwinkle as the sun struggles to shine through. Nicholas and I trade puffs, making the air thick and heavy. The music continues languidly, but my body feels electrified; a steady buzz washes over me in waves and I swear I hear my cells vibrating.

I stand in the middle of the chairs and as the song changes, the throbbing bassline of Phenohunter vibrates my organs mightily and I bop my head and shrug my shoulders in time to the music. I must make quite a picture, dolled up like a princess while illegally hotboxing a VIP pod high above the NYC streets. My only concern, though, is staying in the flow and sync of this groove. Mendo Dope’s ambitious vibe has wound its way into the growth of this Grease Monkey plant. Mr. Bond has distilled the essence of phenomenal funk into this Hashish. Consequently I am flying high and I am feeling myself.

It is a New Year and it’s my Birthday!

The sensation of charging up creeps over my slowly, but steadily. I felt this way at the studio before, when I held court talking about East Coast versus West Coast, but now, with the overlay of my birthday, the magnificence of the view, and feeling of being higher than any Goddess on Olympus, I am ready to take on Superman. I am living my own fantasy, it is incredible, and I hope it can last forever.

In a city where performing above expectations is the only path to epic level endeavors, making a distinct impression on my birthday is truly a feat. Surrounded by the largess of New York City, Grease Monkey Hashish elevates my sense of self-worth and is the perfect component to expressing esteem and self-belief. In the midst of giants, the Grease Monkey Bubble Hash proves to be as tall, shiny, and unique as the best of them.